Lately, I've pondered "threshold paranoia" a number of times. Threshold paranoia is our term for being nervous about going someplace new or trying new things. The term comes from Cami, our bizarro white dog.
For the three years before we discovered that her behavior problems were because of a lack of thyroid hormones, Cami was one weird animal. She was very stressed about entering rooms and would lurk poised at doorways around the house staring in nervously. Eventually, she'd run in with a big furry flourish and proud look on her face, like she'd just done the most brave thing ever.
Sometimes I get threshold paranoia when going to new places or doing new things. Anytime I sit down in a classroom, I have a small fear that I might be the absolute dumbest person in the room. For example, when I went to my first Master Gardener class, I thought about all the plants I'd killed in the past. I figured that everyone else probably had perfect, weed-free gardens. (HA!)
Lately, I've been working with a number of new clients and done a lot of new projects. Threshold paranoia strikes again. Just as it's always nerve-wracking to apply for a job, there's always that moment of doubt when you talk to a new client and worry. What if he's really a huge jerk? What if they don't pay? What if I can't do it? What if I hate it? And so on and so forth.
Until you realize that everything is fine. Because the best thing about threshold paranoia is the feeling you get when you get over it. Just like Cami zooming into a room across that threshold, I'm zooming through new challenging projects and feeling pretty proud of myself ;-)